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The story of…..

……………………..The Spirit Of Human Experience

Seren– I Don’t Need Anything

I need money

I need a spouse

I need a better job

I need kids

I need better kids

Love, Loving, Me, Child, Hope, Prayer

Once your needs stop, your life begins

Because you are satisfied with everything you have

And anything else you receive is icing on the already decadent cake

Senegal, Child, Boy, Smiling, Dirt

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Seren-It’s Because He Is A Man

I see him now, starring at me, and I try to think of the things he sees.

Does he notice my eyes, how they glisten in the dark

or my mouth, and how it’s lines pull into a quiet smirk

surely  my hair with its high and low lights

or maybe my cheeks, the ones that adorn my face that make me look sweet

But he is a man, so I’m sure of  which part of  me preoccupies his mind

and this is why I,  time after time, choose to fade, rather than to imbibe

He then comes over to me and whispers something so soft and true

“I’ve never seen any other girl who acts as beautifully as you.”

 

©Rahkhel Ihej

 

Seren-True Love….The Essence Of Truth

I loved you, I craved you, I wanted you, I shared you,

Now all I want is to be with you in the simplest way I know,

Through our souls,

Only then i will be satisfied.

Seren-Alone But Not Alone

Alone now it’s been 30 years, but not 30 years without you.

We touch, we make love, we explore each other, and grow together.

Just  not here.

The love it takes, the strength it takes to keep something like this going is not as burdensome as some might assume.

I am alone.

But alone with you.

Seren– “Good Days”

I’m tired

I have good days and bad days and I’m tired.

I don’t want to have “good days” anymore or bad ones either.

I’m so tired.

I just want days.

But nobody understands that.

They just say “It will get better.” Like getting better in the future is enough.

I want to be better right now.

I don’t want to be happy and think “This is it. I’m finally getting better.”

Then the next day be so low that I just want to cry and wonder what it it’s all worth.

I just want to get lost in the forest and runaway.

Because I’m tired.

I’m just so tired.

 

Be Blessed

I am a child of The Great I am. I am a lightworker.

I bring hope to those who have none, and love without request. I have been blessed with gifts that I must use to make others whole, from a selfless, pure stand point.

To love others is not to lose oneself.

Gain is not in the plan of giving.

Love, Giving are all selfless, so I must give from my soul and give love from the same, because in my soul lies, who I am.

Fear, expectation, and reciprocity are not part of my design, for they defy the purpose of pure love and giving.

Bless and be blessed.

Seren- Lost, But Not Quite Found

I pick up my pack from the ground, and as I do so, the panic slowly  begins to sink in. It’s missing! It was here a moment ago, and now it’s gone. I frantically look around, pushing large blades of grass out of my  way as my eyes strain try to catch a glimpse of  it’s signature metallic grey band.

It’s got to be here. Where could it have gone!

First denial sets in. “No, it’s not possible, I’m just not looking properly. I’m sure it’s in my pack somewhere.” Then the anger comes. “Why me! I purposefully invested time and energy into this thing and now it’s gone! Next began the bargaining. “Please come back to me. I will pay more attention next time.” The depression, was the worst. “How will we survive? The dogs and I won’t make it.” Eventually came acceptance. “Fine, we will just have to make do. We only have one left, but hopefully that will be enough.

Yes, I had just gone through the five stages of grief.

It included dragging my two small dogs through flea infested, and possibly snake infested grass that was taller than they were, in a futile effort to retrace my steps; hoping against all hope, that I would miraculously stumble across, it.

The next time I decide to go on a hike, I will remember to properly attach my bottle of lemon water.

Seren-Darkness, My Lover

IMG_5420

The darkness it surrounds me.

It bathes me in its shadow of warmth.

The light that does not emanate knocks at my door.

Rap Rap rap it goes.

As if there is someone inside who wants to answer.

It bids me come out and allow myself to be taken over.

But my heart belongs here.

In the loving embrace of the dark.

In the embrace of the blackness that consumes my soul and burns the endless flames of my desires

Hell hath no rath like the urges of the dark

As it burns down my legs and singes up  my arms

Carresing my breast as it yearns for my lips

Hoping, to turn them as dark as coal with one, final, kiss.

Oh what i wish you would do, what i wish you could do, if I was truly yours

If only the light would let me stay but a moment longer.

I would be wrapped in your cavernous beauty,

Forevermore

 

Seren– I Am Free

I want to go back to the world, but then I forget how deeply disturbing it is. Sadistic, cruel.

Here I am safe, in a cocoon of sorts where I am free from the general populace. Free from those who would see me and smile, all the while realizing that their smiles are a facade, a reminder that “trust no one” is not just a phrase but a means to survive. A warning that the world is not safe. Your enemies will smile at you while they laugh behind your back because they know their mind and you don’t.

The world is a sick, sadistic place, and sometimes it makes me scared to go back to it.

Here people see me only when they are driving in their car. The teller at the bank is one out of five people that I have spoken to this week outside my home and the other four merely gave me my change at the counter. Here I am….. free from the cruelty. It still exists but I see it when I turn on the tv, not when I am starring at the evergreen in front of my yard as it sways in the harsh breeze.

Here I am free.

I don’t know if I can go back.

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